Tips for Bringing up Your Bebe
From the moment I knew I was going to become a Mom, I started out with book hunting. I like to think there are people out there that have researched and know more about many topics than I do, so why not start with a jump start, instead of experimenting on my own. I came across many books, but one the stood out the most was Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman. Highly recommended! Not only does it have great advice, but it's funny and entertaining. I put together a few tips that I found really helpful and made a lot of sense to me. Hope these help you out and make bringing up your bebe, a lot easier.
1. Let kids get involved in the cooking…makes them more exciting to eat what they prepared, no better time to find out about their day, and a super plus is you eat all together…at the table.
2. Dedramatize: Aim to have authority witout losing your connection with the child.
3. You’re not Disciplining, You’re educating: Gradually teaching her table manners, in the same way that you would teach her to do math. In other words, the learning doesn’t happen all at once.
4. Explain the reason behing the Rule: When you say no, you should always explain why not. Always be matter of fact: you do’t want your explanation to sound like a negotiation (it’s not).
5. Making Evenings Adult time: The French belive that having some kidfree time in the evenings not an occasional privilege; it’s a fundamental human right.
6. French parents aim to teach their kids patience, the same way they will later teach them how to ride a bicycle.
7. Teach the four magic words: “Please,” ”Thank you,” “Hello,” “Goodbye”. Saying this forces a child out of his selfish bubble and makes him realize that other people have needs and feelings too.
8. Everyone Eats the Same Thing: In France, children don’t decide what they’ll have for dinner. There are no customizations. There’s just one meal, the same for everyone.
9. You Choose the Foods, She Chooses the Quantities: the goal isn’t to cajole enough nutrients into a child’s mouth at every sitting. It’s to guide her into becoming an independent eater who enjoys food and regulates her own appetite.
10. Eat Chocolate: don’t treat candy, like it’s kryptonite, or try to pretend that redefined sugar doesn’t exist. Instead, teach them that sweets are occasional pleasures to enjoy in controlled doses.
11. Keep Meals Short and Sweet: Dinner is not a hostage situation. Don’t expect youn kid to stay at the table for longer than twenty or thirty minutes. When they ask to be liberated, let them go. With age comes longer meals.
12. Don’t rush the developmental Stages: The French have a saying: "You can’t go faster than the music.” They believe that a child will roll over, rise up, get pooty-trained, and start to talk when he’s good and ready.
13. Encourage Insouciance: a few music clases are fine. But try to give little kids lots of free time just to play. “When the child plays, he constructs himself.” A roundup of neuroscience reaserach couldn’t say enough about the benefits of exploratory play: it teaches kids persistence, relationship skills and creative problem solving; it improves their attention spans and their confidence; and it gives them a chance to master activities.
14. Let your kid socialize with other kids: The French want their children to learn how to make friends, to wait their turns, and to get along in a group.
15. Back off the Playground: French parents believe that once a child can walk on his own and safely climb up the slide, their job is to watch from the sidelines as he plays.
16. It’s Not Just about Outcomes: Learn to identify and enjoy what the french call moments privilegies, little pockets of joy or calm when you simply appreciate being together.
17. Treat kids as if they can control themselves: "It takes both love and frustration for the child to construct himself.” If you give the child just love without limits, she’ll soon become a little tyrant.